A long year and a bucket of tears.

It's been some time between my last post on my "situation" but rightfully so. Writing has allowed me to process this all in the right manner but it's stirred up some emotions at the same time. I'm not the person I want to be right now but I'm definitely not that same woman on that Monday afternoon either. 

The past year has been the hardest in my life. I'm finally at a place of somewhat peace because I know my Heavenly Father has already fought my battle and the debt has been paid. This Easter means far more to me than the other 29 years of my life. It's like I finally just get it! I was sitting in church Sunday for our Easter service choir time and every song just spoke deep to my heart. My eyes welled up with tears I kept choking back. 

This is it. There really is God and he sent his son to live on this earth for some 33 years and experienced every heart ache and pain that we live in this world today. 

Christ was crucified for me! Me?? Out of this entire world He died so that all my sins would be forgiven and I would be free. How just incredible is that. My favorite stories in the bible come Matthew and John with each description of Jesus's death and ressurection but in Luke it says "Forgive them father for they not know what they do." Soon after Jesus died there in front of so many that loved him and so many that hated him. B

Luckily he did all of that so that as I write you here today I can say that I've prayed the same prayer and that I've forgiven those who have accused me of such horrific acts and those who have snared comments during my public humiliation. If they don't know you then they know not what they have done. That in return I pray for them. I pray for those that have done me wrong, lied about me, been cruel and unkind, mocked me and that have not been supportive. I forgive them all. I forgive them because I have been forgiven. 

Sunday in church was my ah ha moment where I said okay God I understand this now. What a beautiful day it was. All of this taken place in my heart and soul and it just fills my body and mind with joy and peace to hide and overcome the anger, frustration and bitterness that harbors deep within me. This week I reflect on what my Savior did for me and how blessed we are in this chaotic crazy evil world. Tragedy can surround me but it's the "peace that transcends all understanding" that helps my heart Be Still and know that He is God!